I give up on dating

09 Apr

I'm a single, non-religious Jewish male age 41, and have never been married or even engaged. But it never fails, only the girls I don't find attractive tend to be interested in me.

While I'll date non-Jews, I prefer Jewish women since that gives us something in common. I don't think I'm superficial, because there have been many women who I was attracted to who were, for example, overweight. I don't come on very strong, so I am sure I don't actually scare them away.

This 30-year-old writer proves even categorically unsuccessful dates have true value. If your ultimate goal in dating is to find someone to love, then you will likely wind up frustrated at some point in the process. However, in asking it, many tend to forget that dating is not a very successful endeavor—statistically speaking.

Frustrated with the games, the communication mishaps, the sheer number of dinner dates you have to sit through before finding a connection. Throughout the course of a woman's life, she may go out on dates with 30 different men, fall in love with three, and marry one. 5 Shocking Statistics Reveal That We Pretty Much SUCK At Breakups That's why I smiled when I read Jenna Birch's article, "I Can't Stand Dating." She highlighted the many disheartening aspects of dating, and I could relate to plenty of them.

However, when I date, women give me the usual "You're a very nice person, and I'm sure that you'll eventually find someone, but that's not me." In my younger years I was incredibly shy and did not date at all. After a lifetime of this, I've pretty well given up on the idea of dating, let alone marriage.

I work full time, love books & movies, art museums, and learning -- yet women call me dull and uninteresting.

And let’s be honest – can you really completely give up hope on finding that special chemistry?

Perhaps it’s individuals that are not supportive or with whom you share few common interests. You need this last one, I don’t care what anyone says! If you find yourself nodding your head, rest assured you are not alone. Perhaps a diamond in the rough, an unexpected stranger, or dare I say it… It might even be an old pair of shoes that with a good spit polish will dance you off into the sunset.

It might be your brain has been fried with mind numbing dates… Often, (not always) the older you get the more negative experiences you accumulate and the sense of futility grows and grows. I’m not making light of the frustrations of dating and finding the right person for the first, second, or third time.

At some point, you might be getting ready to call it a day and simply give up on the rat race of dating. Believe me, I write from much experience, not just as a life coach, but as a baby boomer that grew up and burned out on singles dances, vowing never to return.

As Charlotte York so aptly stated in one memorable episode of , "I've been dating since I was 15. After all, who experienced an awkward silence while sitting across the table from someone, or agonized over whether or not he was going to call?

Yet, unlike Jenna—who ultimately concluded that in finding love, modern dating wasn't for her—I will remain a staunch advocate of the practice.